these legs can’t run forever
you need to be happy here
too close to speak about it
the words will scorch your tongue
you live along side it
you love along side it
functioning, seemingly effortlessly
distance gives perspective
darkness grows deeper from further away
get close and it just devours you
crouching blindly
not afraid but you’re scaring yourself
you could keep going
drowning yourself in poison
secluding yourself in solitude
nobody knows
nobody knows
nobody knows
you put yourself here
and the track has run out
you need to be happy here
be happy here
rather be anywhere but here
rather be anyone else
remind yourself
you’re not that little girl anymore
surrounded by mountains in a bedroom
you’re taller now
stand up
you can look over them now
look up
there’s so much more you don’t see yet
open your eyes
those piles are crumbling
burn it down
burn it down
burn them down
this is what growing looks like
this is what pain looks like
this is what grief looks like when it burrows in your skin
this is what it means to live
this is what hope looks like when it disappears
this is what trying looks like when you think you’re failing
this is what exhaustion looks like
this is what aging looks like
this is what insomnia looks like
this what trauma looks like when it lives in your blood
this is what it means to put on a happy face
tell them you’re okay
tell them you’re taking it one day at a time
just don’t tell them you really shouldn’t be left alone
this is what acknowledgment looks like
this is what the bottom looks like from the top
this is what words in disguise sound like
this is what asking for help feels like
these legs can’t run forever
can they outrun a life put on hold
can they outrun a heartbeat
can they outrun