A wise man always said to me “Save your money.”
I am set to close on a downtown loft, a dream of mine since my divorce about two years ago. It’s the second home purchase I’ve made, the first being when I was 23 years old. A dreadful process that I said I hoped to never go through again. I bought my first condo in 2009, after/during the market crash and financial crisis when no bank wanted to give anyone a loan. It was so stressful I lost hair, weight, was traumatized and still convinced it cast a dark doomy gloomy shadow on my very first home. You might think I had learned my lesson but oh, not me. I choose to buy my second home during a global pandemic when most of the country is shutdown, people are losing their lives, businesses, jobs and can’t make their rent. Throw on top of that the fact that I am self employed and you have a perfect storm of a shitshow home buying experience. Throw on top of THAT a super quick closing, just barely a month between accepted offer and handing over the keys. Mayhem. Craziness. Nevertheless, the place is mine in just a weeks time. Why do I find myself making the biggest and most stressful purchase of a humans life in the midst of national crisis? Again?! Maybe I like the challenge. Maybe I don’t let the worlds failures deter me from what I want and know that I am ready for. I’d like to add that I’m aware of how fortunate I am to be in the position I am when so many others are struggling. I am grateful and I do not take it for granted one second.
I’m most proud that both of these homes I bought on my own. With no financial help, be it from family or a significant other. I bought them with my own money, that I saved working my ass off, it’s my name on every line on the pile of papers signed on closing day. Growing up I didn’t have an example of success. I wasn’t taught to save my money or pay my bills on time or build good credit. My only example was of what not to do. My parents had too many kids, not enough money. We were often on welfare, had stacks of unpaid bills on the kitchen counter and would sit in front of the hot oven with the door open in the morning when the heat was turned off. I didn’t know much but I knew I didn’t want THAT. I wasn’t even sure of how NOT to have it. I just saw what was in front of me and around me and I knew the life I wanted was in the other direction. So that’s where I looked and my eyes have been set there ever since.
I used to feel like I had to have a certain amount of money or success just to prove I wasn’t like my parents. But I don’t feel like I have to prove anything to anyone anymore, I only have myself to show that if I want something and if I have a dream or a goal, I can make it happen. If it’s truly what I want, I can do it. I will be forever grateful to the person who put that little bug in my ear. “Save your money” is all he said. That man is my best friends father. For 20 years he’s been a constant in my life, a prime example of what a devoted father and husband should be and my go to for guidance on college, career and finances. I hear his voice in my head every time I look at my savings account, I heard it when I bought my first home and Im hearing it now as I embark on a new journey. Save your money. He didn’t have to tell me what to do with it, he knew I could figure that out on my own.