Just after sunrise
Cold morning filling the small space
A sweatshirt for you
I like the chill in my bones
Hot coffee
Favorite cups
Mine was a gift from you
Just an arms length away
I felt you like you were up against me
My favorite time
Sleepy eyes for you
Sometimes we talked
I liked the in between spaces better
No noise, just knowing
I knew
I always knew
I thought I knew
I didn’t know
I didn’t know I didn’t know
I did
Coffees gone cold
You thought I should have dealt with losing you better
My favorite mornings I share with my thoughts only
I don’t want to do it over
I wouldn’t change what you did
I would change what I did
Can you trust someone too much
Can you miss them and know that they don’t belong in your better world
It wasn’t better
It wasn’t the best
It’s for the best now
Do you remember me
I made you a book of poetry
I did whatever it took
I made love to you like I was making it for the first time
I thought you opened my world up
You were blowing it apart
Bit by bit
Small parts at a time
I didn’t notice
You wouldn’t do that to me
If you remembered me
You must think I’m someone else
If I can have the same from you…
That was what we vowed
You don’t remember
You’re not holding up your part
Your words are no good here anymore
Cold coffee
I stare at an empty space across from me
No one took your seat
I’m still waiting for the person that was honest
Taking me a while to admit
She never existed
Afraid it says more about me than you
Afraid I ran into raging waters without a life vest
Knowing I couldn’t swim that well
Thinking I could learn along the way
I thought I could learn along the way
Perhaps I thought you would teach me
Perhaps I thought you brought a raft big enough for two
Take me back
To before the mornings were my favorite part
So I can choose a different time of day
When the light isn’t so beautiful
When the world isn’t so quiet
So bare
So showing
When thoughts and faces are less exposed
When they are pure and clean before they are tarnished by the day ahead