we walked around mountain tops
we stood at the edge of the world
i didn’t hold your hand
i grasped at the life I could see but never feel
i was tasting it
you were there
maybe you were somewhere else
it didn’t matter to me after a while
i was a hunter
i was hungry
i had my bow and arrow
i had aim
i walked on mountain tops
i stood at the edge of the world
i was scared
i was hopeful
i couldn’t go back
one giant leap in front of the other
limbs scared stiff
we smelled of red dirt
and hot sun
we wore the earth on our faces
and heaviness in our hearts
narcissism doesn’t have tact
doesn’t pay attention to social cues
there’s never a good time to be emotionally unstable
empty canyons
filed up with overlapping disappointment
wiser now
you don’t offer up how you’ve been
you don’t ask about me
still walking through ice cold rivers
unmarked trails
i still have too much compassion for you
couldn’t get out of our own way
better at mapping out the roads we never should have traveled
masters of web making
technicians of blame
our fingers always pointing in the wrong direction
we knew where we were going
we never had the courage to say it out loud
can we say it now
i was always up there
looking down
watching like a hawk
i was a hunter
you, an impersonator
both of us screaming for silence
i was waiting
for peace
for defeat
a discoverer
i had it in me
i just didn’t want to use it